Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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