i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I fill condoms, not promises.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
