All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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