...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
