I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
