it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
