I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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