I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
