38 yer olds are good kisserssss
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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