Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
