Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
