I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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