He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I enjoy the company of your penis
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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