He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
