She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
