matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
