we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm having to shit out rocks
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
