I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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