You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
