She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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