I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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