its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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