She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
