I look better un-naked...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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