You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ladies don't puke and tell
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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