So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
