if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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