So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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