There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
