Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
