I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
