weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
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