she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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