I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
