I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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