I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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