You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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