Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
