you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
