let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
