***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
