I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
