I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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