the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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