I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
