I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
