Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
