Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
