The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize