if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
