out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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