Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
